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By Gamal Hennessy
Dating in New York is a contact sport. The ones who succeed have confidence, determination, charm, wits and the ability to improvise. We need to find a way to pay for the costs of dating. We need a way to live in the city on one income. Forbes has released its annual list of best cities for singles and New York has barely cracked the top ten. Has the high cost of living made New York an inhospitable dating environment?
The Forbes Best List for Singles compares U.S. cities across seven different categories including culture, nightlife, number of singles and cost of living. While New York City is ranked #1 for nightlife, beating out L.A., Las Vegas and Miami for the top spot, it ranked dead last when cost of living alone was taken into account. So the person dating in New York is cut by a double edge sword. We can do anything we want at night, but we have to find a way to pay for our days and our nights.
The basic problem with lists of this type is that they measure quantity as opposed to quality. It’s fine to count the number of single people or the number of bars in certain cities and rank them based on density, but it doesn’t really take quality or variety into account. Does each city have the same range of nationalities, education levels and backgrounds? Is a bar in Charlotte and a bar in Vegas the same just because they both serve beer? Is the experience the same when you can walk to a bar in one city instead of driving for 20 minutes in another? If you think about single life by only tracking the numbers, you might be missing something.
Even taking that potential flaw into account, these findings are in line with personal experience. New Yorkers have always had to find coping strategies to balance high prices with opportunity and we have specific tactics when it comes to nightlife. But in the current market, even the most resourceful among us might be tested. In addition to job conditions in some sectors and higher prices across the board, now we have to compete with an influx of foreign clubbers who have a lot more disposable cash. For some, the burden of New York prices and the emotional impact it can have on dating lead them to the conclusion that dating is easier and more natural in other cities.
But when New York throws us a curve (which is almost every day) New Yorkers don’t leave the city. We turn the challenge into an advantage. We’ve always used roommates, and commuting to our nightlife from outside the city to offset the cost of New York rent. Almost all of us have some kind of hustle to get more money or at least get more of the things we want. And instead of losing the ability to date, we can find new dating ideas that are less dependent on our income. Dating in New York is a contact sport that requires wits and improvisation, but just living in New York proves that you have those qualities.
Have fun.
Gamal
By Gamal Hennessy
Most of the iconic New York clubs are gone. Studio 54 is a theater now. Palladium was torn down and replaced with an NYU dorm. CBGB became a John Varvatos boutique. There were recent rumors that Limelight would be turned into a shopping mall. Just before the specter of mediocrity fell upon us again, a new deal was announced to turn Limelight into a corporate event space. Will other clubs turn to corporate sponsorship to deal with rising costs and outside pressure? If they do, what happens to our nightlife?
Limelight was a staple in New York club scene. Housed in a historic church, it drew the biggest names in house and techno music. It was the playground for the Club Kids of the 80’s and 90’s and became one of the most prominent clubs in the country. It was also infamous as a criminal haven. The venue was closed several times on drug related charges and was connected to Michael Alig’s murder of Angel Melendez. The venue reopened as Avalon in 2003 and closed again a few years later. In January of this year, there were reports of the whole space being torn down and turned in to a shopping mall. New York was set to lose another influential club in an era of shrinking nightlife.
A group of investors has offered another option. Instead of leeching the heart out of Chelsea with a huge JC Penney, the new plans for Limelight include a space for film, TV, corporate and special events. With 30,000 square feet, it’s easy to see the club used during the Tribeca Film Festival, or parties for the Grammy’s and other events. It could have concerts, fashion shows and launch parties of every type. Would it go back to being a focal point for dance music? Probably not. Would it be little more than a glorified crack house? Probably not. Corporate sponsorship may not be the ideal legacy for Limelight, but it’s better than being a Spencer’s Gifts…
You might not like the idea of a corporation taking over a club space, but this isn’t a new phenomenon. Corporations already wield huge influence over sporting events, stadiums and live concert venues. Most of the clubs and lounges in the city are taken over by corporate parties during the holidays. You even see a corporate presence during non holiday periods. I was at 230 Fifth over the summer and there were sections for Citibank and Goldman Sachs and several other banks, complete with easel signs. I thought I took a wrong turn and went to the Javits Center by mistake. Big companies already have their hands in nightlife. The question now is how it will affect us.
Corporations have money and manpower to control, alter and maintain a space. While most of them don’t want to be in the club business, they might see the traditional club spaces as good investments for marketing, promotion and as pure real estate plays. If New York continues to turn its back on nightlife, more owners might see the logic in making money in corporate entertainment as opposed to nightlife. If that happens, how will that affect the economic and cultural impact on the city as a whole? Where will our underground music, dance, fashion and art come from? Where will the 65 million club entries go if they don’t work for a corporation? Will we be shut out of the party?
Have fun.
Gamal
Source: Good Night Mr. Lewis
By Gamal Hennessy
Conventional economic wisdom suggests that people will cut back on non essential purchases when money gets tight. Conventional bar wisdom suggests that people drink just as much, if not more, when times are hard. Does mean that wine and beer are as essential to modern living as a place to live and gasoline or are we just delusional? What do our choices about nightlife and money say about what we consider important?
We know that the housing slump, gas prices and stagflation have tag teamed on the economy. We’ve talked about how these conditions have impacted the dating scene. You know that when you have a limited amount of money, you sometimes have to make hard choices on what to spend money on. You have to choose between paying rent and going on vacation. Under normal conditions, the more essential the item or service to your life, the more likely you’ll keep paying for it instead of something else. You pay rent instead of going on vacation because you don’t want to come back from the beach and be homeless.
Recreational drinking doesn’t seem like an essential purchase at first glance. But Nielsen estimates state that liquor sales are increasing in the midst of the economic downturn. This might be because people turn to liquor in times of stress. It could be that although drinking is an indulgence, we’re not willing to give it up as easily to other extravagances. It might be because it’s not an all or nothing proposition. When people are thinking about the price of gas, their options are buying gas, not buying gas or buying less gas. But people have a wide range of choices to alter what they drink based on their income. Now you might not be drinking Johnnie Walker Blue every night, but you can still buy a Budweiser and not be homeless.
Nightlife is a way to connect, relieve stress and counter balance other areas of life. Some of us might feel we need that release more than we need gym memberships, vacations or Fresh Direct. Drinking and nightlife are part of the reason we are in New York in the first place. Quite a few people I know have cut back on the amount of drinking they do at bars, but these same people were going out several nights a week and their monthly bar tab could have paid for an apartment in the Village. Like other New Yorkers struggling with the economy, their behavior has changed but the integral role that nightlife plays in it has not. In some respects, its more important than ever before.
Source: Associated Press/ MSNBC
By Gamal Hennessy
The Amethyst Initiative released a statement recently calling for a discussion on the drinking age in America. Battle lines were drawn immediately between the college students who felt that the current law led to dangerous binge drinking and the opponents who claim lowering the drinking law will increase binge drinking. The debate has focused on college campuses, but nightlife has a stake in this debate as well. Does it make sense to set the drinking age at 21? Should it be lowered? Should it be raised? Should drinking be based on age at all?
The Problem
The Amethyst Initiative, which is made up of college presidents and chancellors from around the country, claims that the current drinking age creates segregated communities on campus. The 21-25 group drinks on a regular basis in bars, restaurants and other places liquor is served. Since the 18-20 group can’t legally drink they pre-party heavily to compensate. This binge drinking leads to a host of problems. It promotes to criminal activity to get liquor to causes alcohol poisoning and other health problems once the liquor is consumed.
Officials from various government and civic organizations like Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) claim that the Amethyst Initiative ignores proven data on the benefits of legal drinking at 21. They say a lower drinking age will lead to more alcohol related fatalities and simply push the age of binge drinking down to the high school level. They have also exerted pressure on members of the initiative to withdraw their support.
The Nightlife Impact
Nightclubs and bars have a vested interest in the drinking age law. Once schools open again for the fall semester, the clubs will be teeming with drinkers. Some of them won’t be 21. These are the places that underage drinkers try to get into after the pre-party. These are the places that have to deal with fake IDs. Would it be easier for everyone if the same person who can go to college, get a license, and drive to the club also be allowed to drink there?
From an economic standpoint, there might be short term gains for nightclubs. There would be more potential people coming in and drinking, which means more money for the club. There would be less need for security to check ID’s at the door, which would free them up for other tasks (like dealing with the drunks who are already inside). There would be fewer violations for serving underage patrons, which could lead to fewer threats to liquor licenses since every violation goes on record against the club when it wants to renew its license.
However, the public relations impact outweighs the economic benefit. New York nightlife is already under attack in various parts of the city by community boards, police and possibly real estate interests. It doesn’t need to draw additional fire from MADD or other politically influential groups. It might take just one incident of a 20 year old girl being injured or killed to spark a new crusade against clubs. It probably wouldn’t matter if she was drunk before she got to the club or if she was even in or near the club when the incident occurred. The story would be about a young girl killed after going to a nightclub. The details would probably be missed.
New York Nights supports debate on issues like the relationship between age and drinking, but we don’t feel that lowering the drinking age would benefit New York Nightlife.
Have fun.
Gamal
By Gamal Hennessy
There are several new buildings going up in areas that were once very hospitable for nightlife. From the Lower East Side to the Meatpacking District to Grammercy Park to West Chelsea, new buildings are rising every month. Even though the prices for New York real estate are extreme, we’ve largely been spared from the effects of the national housing slump up to now. Some have tied the increase in luxury residences to increased conflict between residents and certain clubs. But the money for condos and co-ops is starting to dry up. Does this mean that there will be fewer calls for nightclub closures and more opportunity for nightlife real estate?
Background
The amount of residential real estate in New York has risen steadily since 2001 when commercial firms moved out of the city following the terrorist attacks. More demand led to increase desire for space. The weakening of the national housing market as a result of the sub prime crisis did little to decrease demand in New York, primarily because financial professionals and foreign buyers taking advantage of the weak dollar continued to buy. As real estate developers looked for more space to build, nightlife venues became attractive targets and the nightlife community became an obstacle to their growth. Some nightlife professionals have suggested that the influx of upscale residents has created an oppressive atmosphere for clubs.
The struggle between residents and nightlife wasn’t created by the housing boom. Clubs can contribute to traffic, noise and incidents requiring a police presence. Previous residents have been vocal about their needs in the past. The difference between the previous situation and the current one is that some luxury residents actively attempt to change the nature of the neighborhoods that they have paid so much to live in. Using the liquor licensing process as a tool, nightclubs and bars have been closed, forced to operate with reduced hours, or they haven’t been able to open at all.
New Situation
But the residential real estate market in New York might be following the rest of the country. Sales to foreign buyers, which recently accounted for up to 33% of new condo sales, is falling. Hedge fund managers and other financial professionals aren’t getting the bonuses that traditionally spurred purchasing. This means that many of the buildings going up today might not have a long list of buyers when they are finished.
What does this mean for New York nightlife? The results might not be immediately apparent. Clubs will still have to work with community boards and current residents who have moved into club neighborhoods. The rents that bars and clubs have to pay will continue to eat up a significant chunk of revenue, which means bottle service and other things we pay for will reflect those prices. But it could mean that there is less desire to convert club spaces into condos and an increased recognition of the continuing economic strength of clubs. Unlike most other types of commercial activity, New York nightlife attracts visitors and money from all over the world and will continue to do so even as the housing market dries up.
Have fun.
Gamal
By Gamal Hennessy
In spite of the fact that condoms have been around since 1350 B.C. not everyone trusts them. In spite of the fact that condoms are the most successful method of preventing unwanted pregnancies and the spread of sexually transmitted disease not everyone thinks they are worth the trouble. In spite of the fact that condoms can be purchased in every Duane Reade, bodega and pharmacy from South Ferry to Yonkers, some people don’t have any. If they work and they are easy to get, what reason can someone have for not using them? Understanding the thought process might help you recognize these people when you go out so you have a chance to avoid them.
The New York Department of Health and Mental Hygiene randomly sampled 10,000 adults New Yorkers about their sexual history. According to their study, 1 in 4 New Yorkers do not use condoms as part of their sexual practice. Yvonne Fulbright, a columnist for Fox News has put together a list of reasons some of these people for their choice.
· “Condoms dull the sensation of sexual intercourse.”
· “Other people get STD’s, not me.”
· “I’m usually drunk or high when I have sex, so I don’t remember to use a condom.”
· “I’m on the pill, so I don’t need a condom.”
· “She was ready to go, we didn’t have one and I didn’t want to kill the mood going to the store.”
· “I wanted to, but my partner didn’t and I didn’t want to disappoint them.”
· “I was in love and people in love don’t use condoms.”
· “I wanted him to get me pregnant so he would stay.”
· “I feel guilty about carrying one around.”
Sex is an integral part of nightlife. It is often sublimated in almost every aspect of the experience. That means that STD’s are a potential problem for all of us. During the AIDS outbreak, nightlife and the arts were the hardest hit communities. Consider this, if you go out this weekend and get 8 phone numbers (because you’re so damn sexy), 2 of those people don’t use condoms or have had sex with someone who doesn’t use condoms if the Department of Health is accurate. HIV cases are on the rise again in certain segments of the population. Herpes cases are also on the rise. If you go out at night and sex is part of the equation, then that risk is also part of the equation. Most of that risk goes away when the condom comes out.
Some people might decide that sex without a condom is more desirable than life itself. Despite what we might think, people have a right to make that choice, even if their reasons for that choice lack reason, judgment and common sense. What they can’t do is make that choice for you. If you think sex with a condom (which is pretty hot by the way) is a small price to pay for living, don’t let someone else take your choice away. Guys and girls can walk around with condoms. You can speak up for yourself when clothes are flying off. And although it might be annoying, painful and mess up an entire night you can walk away from someone who doesn’t want to use one. You might be walking away from more painful consequences.
Have fun.
Gamal
By Gamal Hennessy
Every social situation has a set of guidelines to help things run smoothly. The dinner table, the classroom, the office and the locker room inside the gym each has its own customs to keep people from throwing food around, throwing a tantrum or crossing swords. People who know these rules often get ahead, even if they don’t always follow them. People who don’t know the rules often suffer. The nightclub is no different than any other social environment, there’s a certain way to do things. Common sense will make most of these rules obvious, but common sense isn’t that common so read this just to make sure…
Keep in mind that this advice can be used by anyone, but it is focused toward men, because I have don’t have the experience to know the nuances of female clubbing and I didn’t have time before this piece was due to ask them (I’m sure it will be a follow up article).
Before you hit the club, it pays to be prepared:
1. Decide where you’re going and have a couple of back up plans.
2. Find out how you need to dress to get in and respond accordingly.
3. Figure out how you’re getting in whether it’s reservations, connections or just standing in line.
4. Don’t travel with people who are going to sabotage your fun, unless its part of your hustle.
5. Decide if you’re buying bottle service (and who is paying for it) before you get there. This might not be the time to make a $1,000 decision.
6. When you get there be nice to the bouncer whether you are on the list, ordered bottle service or just standing on line. Giving them a hard time won’t get you in faster. It could ruin your night.
Once you’re inside the main goal is having fun. Just remember these simple tips:
7. You can have a good time without giving the club staff a hard time. It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.
8. Unless your express goal is getting a hangover, it is always wise to drink and do something else (dance, flirt, eat, talk, whatever)
9. The key to meeting people is helping them feel good about themselves while you’re around, not using them to help you feel better about yourself.
10. You don’t have to get drunk just because you drink.
When its time to go there are a few things you can do to cap off a good night.
11. If you can catch the attention of the staff that served you, thank them on the way out. They don’t get much of that and some of them will remember you if you come back.
12. If you leave with your people, make sure everyone gets to their chosen transportation. Put ladies in cabs before you jump into one.
13. Before you pass out on the short road to hangover, try to make sure your people actually got home. New York is safer than it has been in decades, but it shows you care. Ask them for a quick ‘I’m alive’ text when they get in the door. This is especially true of your female company even if you just met them (it’s also a good way to confirm her phone number is real, but that’s beside the point).
Now that you have tips on nightlife behavior, you can have a good time without crossing swords.
Have Fun.
Gamal
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